Friday

It is Friday once again. I have this love/hate relationship with Friday. I love the way that I teach all four of my classes by 12:30pm, and have the rest of the day off. I hate the fact that I have to begin teaching at 5:45am. I really shouldn't use the word "hate" That is much too strong a word. Inconvenient is a better word. In the summer, the early morning class is wonderful. The weather is warm, and the sun rises early. Now that the winter is here, it is cool and dark in the morning. I know that I cannot complain. Scottsdale, Arizona never really gets cold. I mean 45 to 50 degrees in the morning is cold here. It is pretty dam inconvenient to have to put on a sweatshirt and sweatpants. I know that there are darker and colder places in the world. I just choose not to live there.

Anyway, I am now finished teaching for the day, and still contemplating attending the Annie Pace seminar this weekend. It begins tonight. When I tried to call the number to the studio where the seminar was to take place to see if I could still register, the number was disconnected. I am wondering if this is a sign. This is the same studio that the oldest daughter and I went down to a few Sunday mornings ago for a Mysore practice, and no one showed up. There were signs then also. The full story is a few blog entries back..... So I am wondering if this disconnected phone thing is a bad omen.. It is also raining here. That is unusual. It very seldom rains here in the desert. I think that the rain total this year so far is 3 inches of so. So while rain in the desert can be construed as a good omen, it is never good for traffic. I don't even want to get started on my soapbox about how poorly people drive here in Arizona. I just don't want to go there. It is negative and not at all productive. Needless to say, it is worse when it rains. So the question remains as to whether I am going to attend this seminar or not. After I finish typing here, I am going to go and sit in the hot tub and contemplate it. I am leaning towards going, but am not 100% sure.....I will keep you posted....

Non - Attachment

Blue is such a cooling color. It is perfect for my thoughts on non - attachment.

Yesterday I was contemplating some of the Yoga classes that I teach. I am definitely giving up my Thursday evening 5:15pm class. It has no energy, and no following. Different people show up all the time, and I am always supplying all the energy for the class. This is usually not a problem, but it is my 3rd or 4th class of the day, depending on the week. I get tired. My wife's new job requires her to work late into the evening 4 nights a week. It is better if I am around to keep an eye on my kids.

I began to think about giving up my Tuesday 4:30pm class. This is a class that I really enjoy teaching. It has lots of energy, and wonderful regular practitioners. I was tweaked though, because last week I got a note from the club manager that someone complained about the content of some of the Hip Hop music that I was playing. My first response was anger. I was angry that someone would just report me to management. I transcended that ego driven feeling, and thought about the issue. I really have no attachment to the music, and on a deeper level to the class in general. I decided that although I enjoyed teaching the class, maybe it was time to let it go. On my way driving to the class yesterday I decided to let the universe decide. If the class had attendance of the normal 12 students or less, I would give it up. If it was well attended by more than usual, I would keep the class . When I walked into the class there were a room full of students. I was warmly greeted by all the regulars, and felt a warm welcoming energy. When I finally got around to counting, there were 18 in attendance. I was energized by the class and led them through a vigorous Flow Yoga practice. I felt really peaceful after the class. I made a special effort to thank everyone and let them know how much I appreciated them allowing me to share the version of my Yoga with them... For now, I am keeping the class.

I am still not motivated to once again take up my regular morning mysore ashtanga practice. I practice throughout the day, and am physically strong, flexible and balanced, I just cannot get my focus back into the practice. As I was explaining it to someone the other day. I feel like " I was practicing for a game that was never coming." On a deeper level, I know that it is about the journey, not the destination, and that the practice of Yoga is grounded in the present. Intuitively, however, I knew that I needed to move my practice deeper, and that on some level, the physical practice is holding me back. I am guessing that it has to do with ego, or my natural competitive nature. I am not sure. I will return when the time is right. I am considering going to the Annie Pace seminar this weekend. I am not sure though. Origionally I was going to go and take The oldest daughter with me. The cost is a little prohibitive however. It would be $500. for the 2 of us..... We will see..

Gratitude

Gratitude seems to be the buzz word around the Thanksgiving holiday. I spent the two day prior to Thanksgiving Thursday decorating holiday trees and offices for the Florist that I have been freelancing for. Decorating a great way to get into the Christmas spirit. I still managed to teach most of my Yoga classes, and the intention was gratitude. I was surprised that my Wed. night class was not cancelled, seeing how it was from 6-7:15pm the evening before Thanksgiving. Most of my regular students expressed that they would be out of town. I had one student, and took the wife to class with me... It was a relaxing, stress relieving practice. Afterwards, we went to Blue burger for a veggie burger.....

We started Thanksgiving with a family hike nearby home. I plugged into my Ipod, and tried to focus on all the blessings that I had to be grateful for. The new puppy was a little unruly, but that is to be expected until she is trained properly. We had an early dinner which included Tofurky, yams, veggies, etc. It was relaxing, and because the weather was so nice, we ate outdoors. We made the obligatory phone calls to family with Thanksgiving wishes, and were done with that.

I spent Friday morning teaching my usual early morning classes. As I expected, they were poorly attended. 1 in power and 3 in Yin...... My 10:30am Power class was better attended however. I began the class by reminding everyone that although the average adult diet should consist of 1400 -2400 calories a day, and on Thanksgiving day, the average American adult consumes upwards of 3000 calories. According to the article that I read, it would require a 30 mile walk, or 8 mile run to burn those calories... I asked the class if anyone had done either of those after Thanksgiving dinner... No answers, just giggles. That was my justification for making the class particularly challenging. We did an unusually large number of sun salutations, and difficult transitions from Sun salutations.... At the end of the practice, I assured the class that we had not even come close to burning the 3000 calories that we all needed to burn, but that it was " a good start." Yoga classes ended at 11:30am. I zipped home, showered, and headed up north to do a Christmas decorating job for the Florist that I freelance for. Home by 5pm. It has been getting chilly in the evenings, and the family wanted to try out the new fire pit. We bought some wood and marshmallows and fixings for S'mores, and off we went fire pitting. I spent part of my time in the hot tub, and part of my time in front of the fire. It was a nice relaxing evening.. As the evening wore on, it became very windy outside. We have a cold front coming through. At 3am, I went outside to make sure everything was battened down. A few cushions were blown off chairs, but the cover was still on the hot tub, and the gazebos, furniture and TV were all secure...I have the TV and gazebos lag bolted into the concrete. A hurricane could not move them.... It did disrupt my sleep however.

This morning, I slept in. I was not up until almost 9am. Then it was off to teach my 10am class. A good challenging class that was well attended. After class, some philosophical yoga talk with a few of the students, and then I was off to finish the decorating job started yesterday. Finished in no time, and back home by 1pm. Spent the rest of the day outside reading and watching college football....Well, there it is then....... You are up to date....

Let's Forget Sunday......

First though, Saturday....or better yet Friday night. I was supposed to deal a party (Poker) on Friday night at a house in Grayhawk. When I arrived, they did not have me on the list to deal. The owner of the company had made as mistake.... I was fine with going home....My wife was having a "girls night" at the house with three of her friends, so I made myself scarce.... They were loud and funny, and were drinking wine and eating pizza. They were in and out of the hot tub. I stayed up in the bedroom and read and watched some tv. Women drinking wine do get loud though, and I could hear the laughing and carrying on. It was about 11pm when the last friend left..

Now to Saturday. Taught my regular Troon class. I had a nice talk after class with the girl who frequently sub for me there. I will refer to here as "Flexi". She is a wonderful Yogini and person. Flexi is good name for her because she exhibits hyper flexibility. She has a wonderfully calm disposition, and although she is a vatta, she has a strong, almost pitta style practice. Her energy has a very calming and nurturing effect... I mentionedto her that the daughter and I were going to a seminar on Sanskrit given by Sanskrit Scholar, and she was excited to attend as well.
I popped home for a quick shower, and then off to the Starbucks of Yoga Studios (SOYS) for 3 hrs of Sanskrit instruction.. Sanskrit Scholar is a wonderful instructor. It does not matter what subject that she is teaching. She is thoughtful and humble, yet knowledgeable and direct. Many of the things covered I was already familiar with, but I always learn something new from her seminars. Towards the end of the seminar, VB guy came in. I had not seen him in a few months, not since I chose to stop doing Mysore in the morning in a group setting. He was the same with the exception of him letting his hair go grey. White would be a more accurate description. It looked good on him.... I was asked where I had been, and if and when I would return to mysore practice.... "When I feel that I am ready" was my reply. I am just not feeling it right now.....

Let's forget Sunday....
Sunday morning, up at 6am. Get the Oldest daughter up at 6am. We are going down to a Yoga shala in downtown Scottsdale to try out a mysore practice there. It is from 7am - 9am. I am figuring, new instructor, new place, new energy....We stop at the Mac machine for $$$ on the way. My card will not work...No $$$. Ok, maybe this is a sign.....Ignore it of course.... Put on the cd player in the car so that we can listen to the cd of Manju Jois chanting the Vande, and the Radio dies. Dead. No apparent reason. A sign perhaps. Pay no attention... We arrive at the place 15 min. early. It is dark, no one there. We park and wait. We chant the Yoga Sutras. I reach for my Ipod to listen to the yoga sutras while we chant them. My Ipod will not turn on. It is frozen.... 10 min go by. Another person pulls up and parks to wait. 10 more min. go by. No one arrives at the studio. The other person waiting leaves. We pull around the back to see if there is a secret entrance to this mystical practice. Nope nothing. Disappointed, we head for home....It has been a rather strange morning, to say the least. No $$$$, No music, or Sutra, No practice..
We risk stopping at the food store on the way home to pick up a few groceries, and some things for breakfast. I was praying that there was not a problem with my credit card as well. As it turned out. That was fine...... Out of the food store, turn on the car, radio is working fine. Get home and plug the Ipod into the computer, and it works fine..... Go to get $$$ from the mac machine Sunday afternoon, money miraculously appears......

Soo, being a person who does not believe in coincidences, I can only surmise, that for some reason or other, We were not meant to practice yoga in that place on that morning. All the signs were there. I am good with that. I strive to never allow small setbacks in my day to effect my life in a negative way. Life is this wonderful adventure. Boy would it be boring if it played out exactly as we planned it. I love the little unexpected post its that the universe sends me. I am even more appreciative when I recognize them.

Speaking of appreciation, it goes hand in hand with gratitude, and that is what this upcoming Thanksgiving Holiday should be all about.... Unfortunately, I always get the feeling that gratitude sometimes takes a back seat to Gluttony and Football. Don't get me wrong, I love to watch football, but it is not the whole focus of the day......more later.......

Music, Anyone?

It has been surmised that you you can tell a lot about A person by what songs they have on their IPod. I think that may be the case with some one dimensional people. If you looked at my songs on my Ipod, you would not have a clue anything about me. You wouldn't know my age, maybe my sex by some of my song selections. I have a very eclectic taste in music. This shows through in my choice of playlists during my Yoga classes. I listen to everything from classic rock to classical, to opera, to rap and hip hop, to country and blues, Jazz to new age and chant (in latin, sanskrit, etc.) The groups on my Ipod include, Dead can Dance, Led Zeppelin, Eagles, Dead Kennedies, The Cure, Tunng, Slaughter, Cheetah Girls, Tori Amos, Yes, 50 cent, Akon, John Denver, Mozart, Afro Celt, Garth Brooks, Diana Krull, etc etc etc. Does this make me a good person, diverse, interesting? Maybe, I don't know. I love music. I pride myself on always having a wide variety of music on my Yoga play lists. I have used the Gummy Bear song by the Crazy Frogs, to 1234 by Feist. Anything goes....

Moving on..... Have been busy lately. My regular Yoga classes and in addition to that I am helping with some Christmas decorating. A Florist that I used to work with sold her shop and the new owners are totally clueless. I mean totally. Can't make a bow, design. Absolutely no experience whatsoever. What motivates someone to buy a business with no prior experience in the industry? They are a nice enough couple, but I fear that if they are not quick learners, that they will not last long if they are under capitalized. Although I am not really into it, and would have turned down this work, I agreed to help because I feel bad for these people. The previous owner kind of screwed them over....I have done this specific decorating job for the last 4 years, so I am familiar with the place. I am freelancing in between my yoga classes, but it is proving to be a lot, given my class schedule, and my responsibilities with the daughters.

Tomorrow morning the oldest daughter and I are going to a new Yoga Shala to do a Mysore practice. It is my hope that I new instructor will bring new energy and adjustments. We will see. I will keep you posted..... Tired now.... more later.....

Outdoor Space....

Outdoor space is a wonderful thing. I mentioned in an earlier Blog that we had renovated our backyard. Ever since we moved here 4 years ago, we have been meaning to make our backyard more conducive to outdoor living. This was the year that we finally manifested this space for ourselves. It started with the Hot tub. Something that I have wanted for a long time. Buying the hot tub precipitated the addition of concrete to extend our patio and the skirt around the pool as well as a pad for the hot tub to sit upon. From there arose the need for outdoor furniture. As fate would have it, in July, I stumbled upon an awesome closeout of Patio furniture, and bought more than enough to outfit our patio. We were originally thinking awning, but opted for 10' by 10' canopies above the patio and hot tub. We purchased a few new umbrellas, a bar and fire pit, and we were all set. The focal point of our outdoor living would be a TV. Not just any TV however. I went for a 50" plasma High Definition TV. I designed a stand so that it would swivel so that it could be viewed from the Hot tub, Pool, or sitting area. My wife thought that I was talking about a small 27" or 32" screen TV when I said TV outside. She was shocked and pleased with new set. Of course I had to buy a new receiver as well so that I could put in outdoor surround sound...... If this is sounding ohhhh sooo materialistic, It is. but the joy that I experience relaxing outside, reading, and enjoying the hot tub after teaching my 3rd power yoga class of the day is Bliss. Watching sports and programs in HD is awesome......Party and relaxation at my house after Yoga class. Enough of this though, check it out for yourself.....

In Tune.....

Today, I feel very in tune with everything around me. I was telling my Power Yoga class at noon, that the best yoga practices are those in which you use your breath and focus to enter another state of consciousness, an altered state. . I was recanting that my best practices are those in which I can not remember any of the asanas that were done, and cannot remember any of the music that was played. I only breathed, and existed in my space at that time, and let go of my physical reality. I know that that may sound really deep to anyone who has not yet experienced it, but once you have experience it, you will remember it. if you practice yoga long enough, it will be a frequent occurrence. My noon class was awesome, thanks for asking. Lots of arm balances, core work, back bending, etc.. I always feel great after a back opening practice. Today's included ushtrasana, laghu vajrasana, kapotasana, and urdhva danhurasana. I talked about meta cognition during shavasana, and encouraged an introspective awareness of the process of thinking and from where it arises.

I have just started a new book, and I like the path that it is taking me down. It is called Yoga and the Quest for the True Self. Within some of the fluff of the story, I am gleaning a great deal of wisdom, and am finding new ways to express wisdom that I am already familiar with......As a teacher, expressing ideas, especially ones that are esoteric is so important. Language can be so insufficient when relaying experiential information. Any help that I can borrow is always welcome.....I am looking forward to my 4:30pm flow class. It is one of my favorite classes (No attachment, of course.) It has a great group of practitioners who bring positive energy to the space.....

I had a flash of intuition last night that I need to finish my Yoga room. That means tearing up the carpet and putting down a hardwood floor, adding a ceiling fan, and I envisioned a bookshelf with book on a few shelves, and a few statues of Hindu Deities on other shelves, and my small pagoda shaped water fountain on yet another shelf..... I am working on manifesting this in the not to distant future.......I feel that I will do more Yoga and meditation in this space then..

Gotta go.................

Busy Weekend

Yes it was a busy weekend. I Taught all my Friday morning yoga classes. (4 classes from 5:45am - 12:30pm) At my noon Bally Power class, there were only two yoginis. One was a regular, and the other I had never seen before. She was and attractive blond girl in her mid 20's . The practice went well, and after the class we chatted. I mentioned that by the level of her asana practice, I could tell that she had a regular yoga practice. She mentioned that she taught Yoga, and had just moved back to the valley from Fla. Although she seemed young, she said that she had been teaching yoga for the past 12 years. I thought about how young she must have been when she started teaching. I immediately had a flash of transference, and it was as if my future daughter was sitting before me. Her story could be my daughters story in her future. It really struck me when she told me that she was in a serious car accident, and had spent her recovery time studying the Yoga Sutras..... The chanting of the sutras is so in line with my daughters practice.... Anyway, she thanked me for the class, and said that she was looking to teach some Yoga classes. I told her that I would see what I could do to help her. I introduced her to the Group Fitness manager at Bally, and she gave her a Job App. She had really good energy, and a relaxed demeanor. I am sure that she is a very good yoga instructor.

After that, It was off to the Flower Lady's house to work on flowers for a wedding... Home around 6pm, and then dinner at home with a friend of ours and my Uncle who is visiting from Manhattan.

Saturday was busy as well. Slept in until 7:30am. That is really late for me..... Off to teach my 10am Class at Troon. One Student in class. A new girl, mid 30's . She is in a euphoric state to have found Yoga We spent most of the class talking about Yoga and spirituality. It was kind of a darshan session. I have had more and more sessions with individuals where we just talk about issues in life. I have had a few people suggest life coaching as a possible adjunct to teaching Yoga. I have no interest in that right now. I found our talk on Sat. morning most uplifting and energizing.
From there it was off to the Flower lady's house to deliver the wedding we had designed on Friday. It was an hour trip down to Tempe, and we chatted about her impending Divorce, and her recent physical issues that have arisen as a result of the increase in her stress level due to her Break up. It is hard for her because she was married 30+ years, and was left for a younger woman......We then returned and designed a wedding that was taking place Sunday.... I was home by 4pm, and out of the house by 5:30pm to deal poker at a house party down in Laveen, AZ. Usually I do not travel that far to deal parties, but the owner of the Party company offered me extra money to take this party, so I did.... Party 7 - 10pm. Home by 11:30pm. Asleep by 11:40pm. I had all intentions of getting up early to go to a Yin class at @one yoga, but slept in until 8:30am. Up and out to the food store early. Home for an hour and then out with the family to Dog obedience training. I dropped them off, and went to the bookstore. Spent $90. on Yoga books. I have been on a reading frenzy lately.. I picked up Grergor Maehles book on Ashtanga Yoga.... Donutzenmom always is quoting that book on he Blog. Speaking of that. I was reading her blog yesterday, and she asked a question about chakrasana. I posted a comment about my humble opinion on the subject, and she emailed me back..... The daughter and I have not been attending our mysore practice since early October. It is a combination of the Wife's new work schedule, our trip to Rockey Point , Mex, and the two weeks the wife spent in Philadelphia training. I also just decided that I did not want to go.....I still do my 3-5hrs of Yoga a day. Just not mysore. I am hoping the reading the Gregor Ashtanga book will motivate me to go back. I am in a realy good space right now. I have healed the pain which was nagging me for the past 10 months, and I feel very strong and energized. I have been focussed and relaxed, and have been reading many books on spirituality and Yoga. I am on a good path....I am grateful for the place that I am now..... Back from bookstore and dog training after noon. A relaxing Sunday evening. Watched some football, sat in the hot tub, and mellowed...........more late

Breathe and Chil-lax

That is what my daughters say whenever they see their mom starting to stress out, and more specifically when she is displacing her stress on them... It is a clever blending of Chill and relax. I am afraid that the uttering of this phrase, while well intentioned, has had little effect on a woman who is experiencing stress.

The daughters will survive in spite of us being their parents. Most people survive despite their parents. Few of us come away unscathed however. I survived even though I had two of the most self centered, disconnected. negative, clueless parents in the world. Throw in a step parent, and you end up with a really F**ked up childhood. It took much acting out behavior and subsequent self awareness and psychic healing to get me to the place that I am today. Where is that? You may ask. I am at a place where I understand that my parents are fallible, imperfect beings and that there was I reason that I chose them as my parents. Their dramas in life are what shaped my childhood, and ultimately led me to the place that I am today. Where is that? You again ask. That is a person working towards balance in his life. I man working to exist in the word as a good father and husband. I have a comfortable life in my Scottsdale home. I have my 2 beautiful daughters, and a beautiful wife. I have a puppy, a cat, and an Australian tree frog. (I know "Too much Information") I am Someone who is on a path to a deeper spiritual connection. A person who has developed a passion for helping and healing others whenever he can. A person working on his issues of attachment and ego. I am just your average, ordinary, garden variety Yoga guy. My quote of the week on my website kind of sums it all up. It is as follows: "My job is not to change anyone, my job is to awaken myself" It is by Bill Hyche. I would like to think that while I am not changing others, I am positively influencing them so that they also can "awaken" themselves. A positive affirmation for sure. I am so grateful that through my Yoga teaching I am afforded a platform to positively affect so many peoples lives. As I was speaking with one of my students today after my Power class today, she was expressing how much appreciation she felt about the class and my instruction. I told her that all that she was feeling was within her. She was the one doing the healing, strengthening her body, and making a deeper spiritual connection. I expressed my appreciation for her being there and sharing with me. I try to not allow pride to creep into my awareness, and stay unattached to outcomes, but I am frequently proud of the physical and spiritual growth that I see in my students. Many have been with me for quite a while now....
Look at the time.... Time to go teach my next class.......
More soon....

Has it Been a Year already??

It has almost been a year since my last post..... I decided that it is a good time in my life to start Blogging again. Life is good..... Everyone is healthy. Yoga is good. Weather is beautiful. I am very much appreciating where I am in my life. Practicing contentment is something that I pair with an overall appreciation and gratitude for everything that is in my life. I am truly blessed. As everyone knows, there are not enough times in your life where you can feel this way. There always seem to be some issue that is in the forefront of your life that is dragging you down, or keeping your life from being balanced. Recognizing these balanced times and remaining present to appreciate them while they are occurring is amazing. It has been my previous experience that only in retrospect do we recognize times in our life as being good. That may be because over time we selectively edit the bad experiences out of our memories. I am not sure, I don't remember......

Since last year we have adopted a new puppy, renovated our backyard, my wife has taken a new job, two in fact, we had family visit, and have been on a few vacations. More to come on all of those things....

I am now teaching about 20 Yoga classes a week, including a class for Senior citizens at a retirement home. (good karma). I am learning to not get attached to my classes, the students, or the outcome of their practices or my own, for that matter. My constant preaching is of love with non-attachment. It is working well, and this ancient wisdom is truly helping me transform into a better, more compassionate person. More on all of this later.

I am committing to blogging at least once every other day. It will be cathartic for me. If no one reads my rambling, oh well.... I am once again putting them out there into the universe...... stay tuned.