Non - Attachment

Blue is such a cooling color. It is perfect for my thoughts on non - attachment.

Yesterday I was contemplating some of the Yoga classes that I teach. I am definitely giving up my Thursday evening 5:15pm class. It has no energy, and no following. Different people show up all the time, and I am always supplying all the energy for the class. This is usually not a problem, but it is my 3rd or 4th class of the day, depending on the week. I get tired. My wife's new job requires her to work late into the evening 4 nights a week. It is better if I am around to keep an eye on my kids.

I began to think about giving up my Tuesday 4:30pm class. This is a class that I really enjoy teaching. It has lots of energy, and wonderful regular practitioners. I was tweaked though, because last week I got a note from the club manager that someone complained about the content of some of the Hip Hop music that I was playing. My first response was anger. I was angry that someone would just report me to management. I transcended that ego driven feeling, and thought about the issue. I really have no attachment to the music, and on a deeper level to the class in general. I decided that although I enjoyed teaching the class, maybe it was time to let it go. On my way driving to the class yesterday I decided to let the universe decide. If the class had attendance of the normal 12 students or less, I would give it up. If it was well attended by more than usual, I would keep the class . When I walked into the class there were a room full of students. I was warmly greeted by all the regulars, and felt a warm welcoming energy. When I finally got around to counting, there were 18 in attendance. I was energized by the class and led them through a vigorous Flow Yoga practice. I felt really peaceful after the class. I made a special effort to thank everyone and let them know how much I appreciated them allowing me to share the version of my Yoga with them... For now, I am keeping the class.

I am still not motivated to once again take up my regular morning mysore ashtanga practice. I practice throughout the day, and am physically strong, flexible and balanced, I just cannot get my focus back into the practice. As I was explaining it to someone the other day. I feel like " I was practicing for a game that was never coming." On a deeper level, I know that it is about the journey, not the destination, and that the practice of Yoga is grounded in the present. Intuitively, however, I knew that I needed to move my practice deeper, and that on some level, the physical practice is holding me back. I am guessing that it has to do with ego, or my natural competitive nature. I am not sure. I will return when the time is right. I am considering going to the Annie Pace seminar this weekend. I am not sure though. Origionally I was going to go and take The oldest daughter with me. The cost is a little prohibitive however. It would be $500. for the 2 of us..... We will see..